Sunlight
by jadedbluerose
Summary: As Danny lay in the sunlight he continued his strange musings. He felt so different, like part of him had been taken away, but was replaced with something more. Already the coolness felt a part of him, and he couldn't imagine living without it. - A One-shot as Danny reflects on the changes he's felt since his accident.


Sunlight

Danny sat on the roof of the ops-centre. Usually he stayed as far as possible from the monolithic construction during the day. It was nice to stargaze from, but during the day the sun hit the metal sending the temperature soaring. But today was different. It had been three days since everything had changed, and as he sat in the sunlight he pondered just how different everything was.

Three days ago his parents had completely given up on their one greatest dream; an active portal to the Ghost Zone. Of course Danny had never believed that such a thing was possible; after all there were no such thing as ghosts. They had looked so disappointed, and part of Danny wanted to fix it for them, if only so that he never had to see that disappointed look on their faces again.

Three days ago he had brought his friends over to check it out. Sam had been especially intrigued, even convinced him that it would be cool to get a photo in front of the portal. 'Come on Danny, a Ghost Zone? Aren't you curious? You gotta check it out.'

So like a fool Danny had agreed, donning his white hazmat suit and striding into the portal. Sam had ripped the sticker of his father's cheesy face off, saying that he couldn't walk around with that on his chest. A moment later the photo was taken and Danny stepped inside the giant hole carved into his basement wall. Those moments were the most clear now. Everything before seemed sort of fuzzy, like it was some old-fashion movie. But the portal; that he remembered perfectly.

He remembered stepping in, avoiding all the loose wires on the floor.

He remembered the slight give in the thousands of wires running beneath him, carrying a strange mixture of the substance his parents had deemed ectoplasm.

He remembered stepping forward, his hand loosely running against the wall for balance.

He remembered stumbling slightly as the floor gave more than it had any right to.

He remembered his hand jarring against something hard, something that shifted with a soft click.

And then there was agony.

Thousands of volts of electricity poured into the open portal, spearing through Danny's body as a great whirring started around him. He felt himself burning from the inside, the pain of the electricity exceeding anything the human body could handle, but then the portal had started to open. Another wave of pain washed over him as the cold claws of the Ghost Zone poured through and into him.

His body became a battleground, fiery electricity, murderous and angry against the steady ice of the world of the dead. The human world was killing him while the ghost world was embracing him. But something went wrong, he was still tethered to the human world as the portal stabilised. Part of his foggy mind realised that he should have died then, but he didn't. He was still alive, but not wholly. He stumbled out, feeling much colder than he had going in. The cool embrace of the Ghost Zone tugged on his mind, whispering to him, calling him to come home.

But he was scared, and still human, so he could ignore it. He took two shuddering steps out before collapsing in a limp heap. Sam and Tuck had raced over, looks of blank terror on their face. Eventually Danny focused enough to meet their eyes, feeling different, like something basic had changed. It was then that they screamed.

In that moment Danny had found out he was dead. He had become a ghost; the one thing he had been told his whole life was evil. He had been forcibly dragged over to a mirror and shown the horrific changes. His once midnight black hair had turned snow white, the white hazmat suit had become stark black. His boots belt and gloves inverting to white. But the worst thing was his eyes, eerie glowing emerald orbs had replaced his sky blue eyes. There was something more, the spark of life that he was so used to had vanished, and part of him instinctively knew he could never get it back. But it had been replaced with a different sort of energy, something unexplainable. Something that sent his mind reeling as he imagined the evil glint that he knew had to be there.

He had panicked, and had blacked out. Crashing to the floor bonelessly as his mind tried to protect itself. Eventually he had woken up, his two friends leaning over him in what he recognised as his own bedroom. They smiled worriedly at him, explaining that somehow he'd changed back. That he was human again. They had all laughed it off, dismissing it as some bad dream and then they had left, leaving Danny alone to his own circling thoughts. Danny laid on his back long into the night, just staring at the ceiling that somehow he could see clear as day.

Two days ago the problems had started. At first he had dismissed it as his usual clumsiness, fumbling things and tripping over air had always been typical for him. But when he saw his fork fall _through_ his hand at lunchtime he knew something was definitely wrong. He had shut himself in his room trying to figure out what in _Clockwork's_ name was wrong with him. That thought had brought his mind to a screeching halt since he didn't even _know_ anyone called 'Clockwork'.

That had led him to try and assess what he did know, which turned out to be quite a frightening realisation.

Firstly he knew he had almost died the day before, the electricity in the portal by rights should have killed him.

Secondly he knew that he had come out of the portal as a ghost, but turned back into a human when he blacked out.

Thirdly, he could feel something different in him, something cool and confident and soothing all wrapped up together in his mind.

Touching this coolness lightly gave him four, he could change into his other _form_ at will.

Putting these together he came to the conclusion that he was at least part ghost. That horrifying fact had kept him up long into the night, and he had eventually given up on sleep. The knowledge that now at least a part of him was dead was terrifying, and he didn't know who to turn to for help. He didn't feel dead, he didn't know what death was meant to feel like, but he was sure that he didn't feel it. But at the same time he was scared to acknowledge that there was something lacking, something vital that he couldn't touch anymore, something that had been replaced by an icy well of... something that he couldn't place.

He had ghosted through the day, dark circles under his eyes. He wondered how it was that no one noticed, he felt so different and he hated it. Surely there had to be a visible sign that something was wrong. He wanted to cry out for help, but he couldn't. Because part of him was evil, wrong. Part of him didn't belong in this world and made him feel like crying out for help would only confirm that now he was different. Ghosts were evil, ghosts were wrong; ghosts had no place in the world other than for scientific extermination. And he was part ghost. He had lost something vital to have it replaced by something evil and he felt contaminated.

After staring up at the ceiling for several hours he had given up on any hope of sleep. His mind was still reeling, trying to make sense of what he was and how he could continue. Instead he walked up to the ops centre, still fumbling as his feet refused to stay solid. He had come up to watch the stars for a while. They had always been one of the few things he could always count on; the stars would always be overhead. Twinkling on high like tiny angels up in the heavens; only tangible to those who dreamed of going there.

Eventually the sun had risen, its soft pink glow kissing his skin and embracing in its warm caress. It felt different now, exotic. He couldn't describe the feeling. He somehow knew part of his mind had changed, he didn't know what part or how much, but he knew it had. But now he realised how much he had physically changed. The sun warmed him, much more than it ever had, and part of him wanted to lounge in the sun all day. He wanted to explore the strange way it was making him feel, because somehow the soft rays of sunlight felt different than they ever had before.

Steadily the sun rose, bringing the dimmed shadows of the city into their daylight clarity. The sun was warm, but a different warm than anything he had ever felt before, it was soothing and exotic and somehow seemed... forbidden. Like taking so much pleasure from such a simple thing was no longer a part of his world. He looked to the blue sky, absently musing what it would be like if it were an endless expanse of green as that foreign cool feeling surged through him once more.

As Danny lay in the sunlight he continued his strange musings. He felt so different, like part of him had been taken away, but was replaced with something more. Already the coolness felt a part of him, and he couldn't imagine living without it. The whole world looked different somehow, the colours more vibrant and _real _than ever before. Every moment since the accident stretched before him in perfect clarity; sharp and focused, whereas everything before seemed slightly... foggy. He didn't know how to describe it. It was as if his eyes had been reinvented, everything had been reinvented, and his body was both familiar and new all at the same time.

He sighed; relaxing into the metal beneath him, still slightly cool from the evening before and watched as the city below started waking up. Everything below seemed so normal, so calm. But he _knew_ that he wasn't, not anymore. He could feel the cool resting against his heart, a tampered echo of the accident; the warmth of his heart contrasting against the cold of his '_core'_. Somehow the word fit, although he didn't know how he knew it.

Two opposing worlds that were never meant to coexist, but instead he could feel them working in synergy. His near death from the human world and his near birth to the ghost world, and he could feel it. Part of him cried for the warmth of the sunlight, wanting to drown in it forever. Part of him called for the coolness of night, to forever drink the soothing elixir of moonlight. But as to whether the human or the ghost part of him was calling for which he didn't know.

All that he knew was that everything about him, everything that he once knew to be true about him had been turned on its head. He could feel his ghost half ebb and flow against his human half, blending together then separating in some exotic dance. And as the sun continued to rise in the sky he felt both blending, and his breath caught in his throat for a moment as he shifted forms.

He felt a ring of pure energy spring up around his waist, and then moaned as he felt it splitting and passing across his body with a pleasantly cool tingle. He felt as his heartbeat stilled, closing off as his body switched to a system fed purely by energy. He could almost feel as the blood in his veins cooled and stilled, his still heart no longer pumping it around his body. But instead of terrifying him he was surprised at how _natural_ it felt. As if he was always meant to switch between human and ghost and now he could properly embrace his life.

Already it was becoming hard to recall not feeling the coolness. He knew that just three days ago it hadn't been part of him, but now he knew he _needed_ it. That icy presence was comforting in a way that he couldn't describe. He smiled at the sun, taking a deep breath of the early autumn air. The sunlight shone down on him, familiar and strange. And he couldn't help but smile in bewildered wonderment that something so simple could feel so new.

And as the sun continued its steady ascent across the sky he felt safe. The warm fingers of sunlight embraced and comforted him. The sunlight heartened him, and for the first time in three days he felt as though, despite how much he himself had changed, he was going to be alright.

For even if the sunlight felt new to him, it was still the same. And nothing that ever happened could change what the sunlight was meant for.

AN: Just a little one-shot, partially inspired by the scene in my fic JAMF where Victor Stone and Danny are talking about being hybrids. Hope you enjoyed.

Cheers,

Bluerose


End file.
